Who Has Influenced You?

There is an exercise that helps you focus on yourself and who in your life has influenced you.  In this exercise you begin with a piece of paper folded into quadrants.  In the center of the quadrants you make a circle. 

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Why Is Delayed Gratification Such An Important Trait?

We live in an instant world.  When you are talking with someone and a question is raised, before you know it they’ve whipped out a smart phone and are looking for the answer.  We have instant mashed potatoes, instant pudding, instant messaging, and instant credit.  A lot of work has been done around the importance of delayed gratification.  Below is an article that you might find interesting.

"The Power of Delaying Gratification"

“In 1970 psychologist Walter Mischel famously placed a cookie in front of a group of children and gave them a choice: they could eat the cookie immediately, or they could wait until he returned from a brief errand and then be rewarded with a second. If they didn’t wait, however, they’d be allowed to eat only the first one. Not surprisingly, once he left the room, many children ate the cookie almost immediately. A few, though, resisted eating the first cookie long enough to receive the second. Mischel termed these children high-delay children.

Interestingly, the children who were best able to delay gratification subsequently did better in school and had fewer behavioral problems than the children who could only resist eating the cookie for a few minutes—and, further, ended up on average with SAT scores that were 210 points higher. As adults, the high-delay children completed college at higher rates than the other children and then went on to earn higher incomes. In contrast, the children who had the most trouble delaying gratification had higher rates of incarceration as adults and were more likely to struggle with drug and alcohol addiction.

Which all suggests that the ability to delay gratification—that is, impulse control—may be one of the most important skills to learn to have a satisfying and successful life. The question is, how do we learn it?

The answer may lie in the strategies Mischel's high-delay children used. Rather than resist the urge to eat the cookie, these children distracted themselves from the urge itself. They played with toys in the room, sang songs to themselves, and looked everywhere but at the cookie. In short, they did everything they could to put the cookie out of their minds.

Taking his cue from these high-delay children, in a second study, Mischel placed two marshmallows side by side in front of a different group of children to whom he explained, as in the previous study, that eating the first before he returned to the room would mean they couldn’t eat the second. He then instructed one group of them to imagine when he stepped out of the room how much marshmallows are like clouds: round, white, and puffy. (He instructed a control group, in contrast, to imagine how sweet and chewy and soft they were.) A third group he instructed to visualize the crunchiness and saltiness of pretzels. Perhaps not surprisingly, the children who visualized the qualities of the marshmallows that were unrelated to eating them (that is, the way in which they were similar to clouds) waited almost three times longer than children who were instructed to visualize how delicious the marshmallows would taste. Most intriguing, however, was that picturing the pleasure of eating pretzels produced the longest delay in gratification of all. Apparently, imagining the pleasure they’d feel from indulging in an unavailable temptation distracted the children even more than cognitively restructuring the way they thought about the temptation before them.

In other words, one of the most effective ways to distract ourselves from a tempting pleasure we don't want to indulge is by focusing on another pleasure. So the next time you find yourself confronted with a temptation—whether a piece of cake, a drink of alcohol, or a psychoactive drug—don't employ willpower to resist it. Send your attention somewhere else by imagining a different pleasure not immediately available to you. For if you can successfully turn your attention elsewhere until the temptation is removed from your environment or you remove yourself from its environment, the odds that you'll give in to your impulse will decrease more than with almost any other intervention you can try.”

If you’d like to learn more about this topic, check out Dr. Alex Lickerman's book, The Undefeated Mind, which is available at Amazon.com.  You might be an interesting read.

Let us know what you think by contacting us at support@entrustedlegacy.org

Make A Difference

In the United States there is long history of philanthropy and giving.  There are so many ways that each of us can make a difference.  Whether we give of our talents, our time, our money, or our connections, we have the opportunity to change the world.  If you go back into the 1800s you can find the founding of the United Way.  In began in 1887 when a Denver woman, a priest, two ministers and a rabbi recognized the need for cooperative action to address their city’s welfare problems.  More than 125 years later, United Way is still focused on mobilizing the caring power of communities and making a difference in people’s lives.

This need to make a difference in the world has been captured often throughout our history and has inspired generations of America to be part of the solution.  In 1961 young people flocked to the Peace Corps and in 1990 Teach for America launched. In 2007 George Bush’s reference to Points of Light resulted in a non-profit foundation and in 2010, Entrusted Legacy was born.  What all these non-profits have in common is that they provide a platform for people to give back.

Learn about our story and the work that we do.  Please join with Entrusted Legacy and support our efforts to train and develop strong role models and mentors for the more than people who work with youth in afterschool and summer programs.  Check out our website at www.entrustedlegacy.org or by contacting us at support@entrustelegacy.org

Making A Difference

The story I am going to share with you is a true story, although I will not name the heroine of this story.  This is a story of the difference that can be made in the life of a person when a mentor and positive role model enters the picture.  The success in this story began about twelve years ago, but before I get to that part, I think you need a little context.  A beautiful young teenager was unhappy at home.  She discovered an “older” boyfriend who could take her away from the less than supportive environment.  Soon she was pregnant with her first child.  She kept going to high school but soon got pregnant for a second time.  By the age of 16 she had two children and by 17 she had added a third.  Through this all she stuck to her guns and was able to get a high school diploma.  This accomplishment speaks to her tenacity and will. 

She applied for an opportunity to participate in AmeriCorps, an organized program that allows people to give back to the community.  For this young woman it also gave her a breather, provided her with a small monthly stipend, medical insurance for herself and child care for her children.  She elected to serve for two years.  During that time she connected to a role model and mentor who believed in her.  And slowly over that two years, she began to believe in herself.  After she completed her years of service she was hired to work in an afterschool program and she realized that she could be a mentor for middle school girls in a way that others could not.  She worked with the girls, shared with them the challenges of being a teenage parent, and as she helped them believe that each of them could succeed, she began to believe it for herself as well.  All the time, her mentor stood by her and encouraged her. 

She used her AmeriCorps Education Award to get a college education.  She has successfully changed not only her own life but the life of her four children (she had one more after AmeriCorps), and she has reached hundreds of people with her story and by becoming a role model and mentor to others.

It is not difficult to imagine how this competent and compassionate young woman could have ended up a negative statistic had she not found a person who was willing to invest in her, to spend time with her, to support her, and to believe in her.  You have the opportunity to contribute and help Entrusted Legacy create more stories with this happy ending.  People who work with youth need to be trained and mentored so they too can pay it forward.  Contact us at support@entrustedlegacy.org or check out our website at www.entrustedlegacy.org.